Lately things have been too much.
We've found out that too many people in our lives our sick. My brother-in-law has melanoma cancer so we are taking him to UofM hospital next Friday to get it cut out of his back. My great nephew is back at UofM hospital with heart problems, and was supposed to be released today but is backsliding. My mother-in-law needs a new hip, and to top it off someone very dear to me (who I promised I wouldn't mention their name) has vascular disease, diabetes and other complications.
Too many people have already died in this un-winnable war, and there doesn't seem to be a clear way to end it. It seems like we've lost our faith in our own government, perhaps for good reason.
It's in times like this that I have to ask God if He's forgotten us. I know that sounds heretical and all, but really, how much more? I know God loves everyone and all creation, I do. I also realize that He entrusts us to tend to all people and creation...but what about those in power who use their power to kill others? What about those who say that God has called them to kill Americans, for being American? It's too much.
I know that change starts with effort from myself to change things. I understand it, but feel powerless in the face of all that needs changing. Our state government is tedering on the brink of a shut down because two parties can't get along enough to approve the budget...which means that hundreds, thousands of people will be out of work, not getting pensions...and so on as of next Wed! That is too much.
Then, there's still an illegal slave trade in the world. There's a preventable AIDS crisis going on in the world. There are people in the world who don't have food to eat. Kids dying of cureable disease. There's so much consumption from the US that we are literally sucking poor countries ability to light their own homes, gas their cars, fuel their economy...and we don't change. This is all way too much.
But I have to believe that this isn't a surprise to God. I have to believe that this saddens the Creator and Sustainer of all things. I have to believe that God longs to intervene but can't understand (yet) why He doesn't. I choose to believe that the way of Jesus is a way to a better life for human kind...but I see Churches more interested in attendance and money than making positive change happen in the world around them. What good is it to fill a huge building with 10,000 people? What good does it do if all people see Church is a place of goods and 12 step programs to make them better rather than the arm of God for good in the world? If that's all there is than I'm out. To be honest, I've been "out" for many years. While I've started creating new space for spirit living and belonging, it isn't enough. There's way too much, but I have to believe as the Bride of Jesus, we could all make the war end, feed the kids, heal the world, and bring about a radical change to our land, and the globe.
Like Jeff Daniel sings, "If you're coming, Jesus...come on"
